Communication is huge when it comes to self-development. Many times poor communication is the culprit for a breakup, organizational failures, or improper self-development. Everyone has asked themselves on how they can become a better communicator wheater a job required it, your friends say so, or you just feel left out.
Communication is the key to becoming a good leader. Communication is vital in any and every relationship. Communication is how you can improve your self-confidence, empathy, and many other skills. How can you improve your communication?
I completed a course on audible.com it was a How to Build Meaningful Relationships by Carol Ann Lloyd, and there is so much to take from that 5-hour course. I will be sharing a tip that I learned from there, but I'd highly recommend listening to the course if you have the audible app.
This isn't the first idea that comes to mind when talking about communication for most people. Communication isn't just about talking all the time its also about listening. Silence is also a language. We don't have to answer every time a question is being asked in a group. We can listen to what others have to say, show gestures that you are listening and learn from new perspectives.
I learned this approach from the course I mentioned earlier. When we talk we always have our phones out on the table or we sometimes are on our phone when talking! This can give a bad message to your listener as it may show that you are not only not listening to them, you may demonstrate that you rather not be there in their presence. Be sure to make eye contact, head nodes, smile (if it's appropriate), insert one word to show the listener that you are engaged and you are listening.
Your Tone and Style
When speaking to someone how do you talk? Are you a voice changer when it comes to the topic given or are you a monotone person. Your tone and style have a lot to do with the engagement of your audience. If you have a presentation I'd recommend talking in an engaging tone and using hand gestures to show your passion when presenting. I would not recommend the same for when consoling your friend after a breakup. Your tone and style should be changing based on what the situation is. Don't use a one size fits all approach for all life situations.
Think before you speak
This one is a bit personal to me. When I was young, I always stuttered and talked really fast. It was one or the other. I was taught by my school teachers to think before I speak. Think it in your head three times then say it out loud they said. The best communicators don't just have the largest vocabulary or have the best sounding voices, they have profound remarks to share. When I started to implement this method of thinking before speaking, my school teachers said: "Wow, Bushra I didn't think about that." Sometimes it's not how we say things but its also what we say. By the repetition of doing it three times in your head, you are rethinking and molding an improved version of your first thought. It didn't just help me not stutter but it taught me to have a different perspective in thinking what others rushed to answer.
Be kind and appreciative
A good communicator uplifts everyone around them. It doesn't matter if this person is ahead of them in pay or below them in skills. They are spreading kindness. They thank janitors that spend long hours making sure their office desks are clean. They thank the people at the reception that are buried on landline phones making sure customer service is their priority. They thank their managers for opportunities. They smile as they walk down the street. They write thank-you letters their families or unexpected "check-in" texts to old friends.
In my book, being a good communicator also involves being kind to others. No one is going to appreciate a person who is though and strict all the time. We all want to follow and listen to someone who is a down to earth and kind individual.
These were some of my thoughts that make a good leader. Notice how I didn't say talking more as being part of a good communicator. Good communication doesn't mean talking all the time or talking the most. There are a lot of other variable roles that demonstrate how you can improve your communication skills. Try these new approaches and you will see a change.
Do you need more help in improving your communication skills? There is something that you feel is more deep-rooted? Book a one on one coaching session with me today. Fill out the contact form on the first page and I will be sure to get back to you.
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